Pen Pal Etiquette for Newbies

Although I've had pen pals at one time or another since my teens, I'm still a newb when it comes to more formal/organized correspondence. For anyone who is thinking about getting into it, I'm going to share some of what I've learned in the last couple of months. For anyone who has been doing this for a while, I'd love some input!

1. The initiator usually writes first. 
   Makes sense, but when I first started seeking out new pen pals, I wasn't sure what was what. You want a pen pal, so you post on a site or do a #penpalswanted "ad" on Instagram (IG), and if someone reaches out, you send the first letter, unless they want to go first. I'm intrigued by ads I see on IG from people who are only interested in exchanging letters if the other party writes first. (Surprise (not): I ignore those.)
   
2. Protect your pal's privacy.

   

   Obscuring our addresses

   
   If you're planning to post pics of incoming or outgoing mail online, take a few moments to obscure your pal's full name and address. I often photograph outgoing mail before I address it (with sticky notes in place showing the recipient's initials). There are apps that allow you to apply digital stickers or blur out parts of images. You can also just lay physical objects over those parts of the envelopes. I've used gum packages, candy, pens...all kinds of things.
   
3. Goodies are a nice addition, but are not required.
   

   

   Washi tape sample sharing cards

   Including little treats is something you'll see being done by a lot of folks posting snail mail images. Not all connections work out (see #4), so unless it's an assigned exchange, which might be a one-time thing, I like to wait until I've received at least one response before sending extras. If you've signed up for a swap,  then naturally, you have to send goodies. But you can just send newsy letters and anyone who has a problem with that has, well, a problem.
   
4. Remember it's voluntary.
   If you're not "feeling it," you don't have to keep up a correspondence. I haven't had to back out of anything yet, but several people I've started writing to have never responded. I've never suspected that it was because I didn't send gifts with my first letter. I figured that my letter just didn't do it for them and have moved on. No hard feelings.
   
5. No proselytizing.
   I haven't actually ever had this happen, but I've been assured that it does happen. Don't preach unless you've established that you're preaching to the proverbial choir. Surely you have more to talk about that whatever dogma you practice.
   
6. Protect your privacy.
   Your mileage may vary. I may have a blog and several social media accounts, but I'm also quite private. I put my return mailing address on the back of envelopes and use a PO box, on the off chance that someone posts a picture of the reverse side. I also include one of these with the first letter I send to a new pal:

   

   Image-sharing Insert.

The image-sharing insert has multiple functions. It gives all my contact info. in one place. It assures my pal that I won't be sharing their personal info. online and asks them to do the same for me. Finally, the last section is a mini questionnaire that I ask them to fill out and return with their next letter. If they love postage stamps, then I can take time (if I have it) to find a fun combo for my letter to them. If they hate washi tape (I know! Who hates washi tape?) then I can send something different. And so on. If you'd like an editable copy, email me. I have InDesign or OpenOffice, which should work in MS Word.

What's up this week? I have a new pen pal to write to and four letters to respond to. My pen is going to be very busy.

Upcoming topics: I know this is a brand-new blog and not likely to have readers for a while. If you have stopped by, thank you! I have several topics planned and feedback is welcome: pen pal organization - keeping track; grown-up merit badges; vintage stamps (ongoing, because I'm slightly addicted); finding pen pals; converting cheap fountain pens & testing fun inks; and more, but I'm drawing a blank.